I thought I would share with you what has helped in my household with the changes that have occurred.
As human beings we are multi faceted.
To tend to our overall condition we need to tend to all aspects of being human (mind, body, spirit and environment) which are interconnected, overlapping, underpin and shape our human experience. Our mind, body, spirit and environment are interdependent and rely on the synergy that is created for our health and well being. Its like a football match; it needs a team of players to do well and be effective, one player cant win the game on their own, its the synergy that’s created between them that wins the game and the same goes for our overall health. We need to tend to our mind, body, spirit and environmental needs which all have a positive synergistic effect on the other.
When all this started to happen
So when this all started to happen I was fine and relaxed about it all, accepting and just taking each day as it came. However my partner watches a lot of news and listens to a lot of news dominant radio. Our household seemed to be getting flooded with the overpowering noise of news and it was all negative. My mind was being fed with too much negativity and it was like brain washing and over-flooded my thinking and consciousness. So I spoke to him about it and asked him to wear headphones and turn it off when myself and the kids come in the room as its all too much and really doesn’t bring us any benefit. So less negativity and more clarity.
Check in with your values before responding
Bringing benefit and following values: By focusing on asking yourself what can I say, do or think that would bring benefit and follows my values is really helpful.
Thoughts leads to feelings and feelings lead to our state of being. Kindness, compassion and acceptance of the self and others leads to positive feelings and therefore a positive state of being.
Our most natural state of being is loving, peaceful, accepting, content – when we move away from our natural state of being we start to feel uncomfortable, unstable….. Knowing what we can do to not get hooked into emotions such as anger, worry or sadness is important so we can help ourselves and be role models to our children to not get hooked.
Being Calm, Content and Caring
One method is by seeing yourself as the lake (loving compassionate, peaceful, calm, expansive, content) and your emotions as the fish that swim by and you (the lake) are the observer – in the lake is an angry fish, a worried fish, an anxious fish, a sad fish… – you’re the pond and the fish are the fish and all the fish are welcome; but remember you are not the fish. We might sometimes gets swept up and forget we are the pond. When you feel like one of the fish has taken over; notice it, name what fish it is, such as: angry fish, sad fish… Re-focus your attention on the present and what you are doing in that moment, focus on your values so you can get back to being the pond and say to yourself ‘be the pond’. You could ground yourself with activities that ground you such as relaxing breathing, movement, focusing on your 5 senses.
We are naturally loving, peaceful and accepting. So fill yourself with kind, compassionate, loving, accepting thoughts to help your mental, emotional, spiritual and physical well being.
THOUGHTS = FEELINGS = STATE OF BEING 💜
Self Compassion Practise
Practice with yourself and your children developing self compassion is brilliant❤️:
While holding your arm or hand over your heart or your hand.. whatever feels comforting to you, with a softness in your face and an inner smile, say to yourself what you would say to a dear good friend like:
May I be kind to myself
May I give myself what I need
May I accept myself
May I live in love
May I be a good friend to myself
Tending to your needs: Mind, Body, Spirit and Environment
MIND: The mind needs positive affirmations, focus, peace, love, clarity, structure, goals and objectives to ensure it can rise up to life’s challenges with confidence and courage. As such, to ensure the mind is happy its a good idea to do a weekly timetable as a family which provides us with more clarity, structure, goals and objectives and helps ease the mind. The ideas in the timetable are very relaxed and serves as a guide.
I have also created my boys a star chart which is going great and they really enjoy it; provides positive reinforcement – They have been awarded stars for creativity, determination, love, peace, patience, co-operation and tolerance and therefore developing their self belief, values, confidence…
Our minds need time for introspective activities, such as; meditation, prayer, still time. There are so many wonderful guided meditations freely available online. Practising daily affirmations is very beneficial to our well being such as ‘I am loving, I am peaceful’ and then extending to your family ‘you are loving, you are peaceful’ We are loving, We are peaceful. Also setting a positive intention for the day is helpful.
Drawing a gratitude bucket and writing/drawing on the bucket the things you are grateful for is great. Appreciation foster inner peace, joy and contentment. Also creating a vision board is really lovely to do together using fun images and art work.
As I mentioned the timetable is not set in stone but it does provide a guide and structure which the mind really likes for clarity and stability:
When you run out of ideas of fun things to do:
Our minds enjoy positive stimulus so I have done a jar and filled it with 101 different activities and the kids enjoy choosing a couple each day.
My kids have also made rainbows, slime, their own star charts, paintings and baking. We have went on lovely walks around our nearby lake looking for the Gruffalo, the energy in nature is wonderful and so beneficial. Just noticing awesome nature: All the bumblee bees, robins, ladybirds, birds singing, trees…., so calming, welcoming, open, expansive, surrendering, just here right now.
We have also been face painting each other, giving each other a massage; the face massage was the best. We have planted some seeds in pots such as sunflowers, cauliflowers, cress, any seeds I could find in the house. The seeds were out of date but actually they are propagating 😊 We have been joining the Sofa Singers online sessions which is brilliant fun and just lifts the energy and mood of us all, its just great to sing with so many people, the last one had over 400 people. We have recorded fun videos of ourselves singing too – just about every song karaoke version is on You Tube.
BODY: The body needs exercise relaxation, sleep, detoxification, pampering, hydration and quality nutrition to be able to support the mind and spirit.
Doing what exercise you and your kids enjoy that releases all those feel good chemicals in the body that helps calm the nervous system: oxytocin, serotonin, endorphins: exercise, hugs, dancing, singing, kindness, yoga, meditation, fun games…. I do miss my Zumba class so to I try and replicate what I gained from this activity by doing some online recordings of Zumba and yoga, running around the garden and dancing to some of my and my children’s favourite songs. I’ve been drinking lots more water. I’ve been going to my bed earlier and if I have needed to take rests during the day such as when 3 year old was in the garden playing so I got the blanket out and literally lay there for 30 minutes doing nothing 🙂
SPIRIT: The spirit needs purpose, a reason for being. It needs to belong, to be loved and to live a life of integrity if it is to discover and honour its purpose. By living a life based on values sustains happiness, a happiness from within – honouring one’s heart.
By watching and being part of some of the fabulous connections happening online has really helped lift myself and my kids spirits and helped with my sense of belonging. I’ve been attending an online singalong group which my kids and I really enjoy. I have taken a very relaxed approach with the home schooling and focused on things we enjoy – sleeping outside in the playhouse, planting sunflowers, painting, dancing and uplifting online classes we can do together.
We have been looking at what we can do for our neighbours, dropping things off that they need.
Also, I’ve been practising loving kindness, self and world compassion meditations more. I journal especially in the evenings when my youngest is in bed and I also encourage my children to journal. When I go to the shops I smile at people – social distancing doesn’t mean no connection.
ENVIRONMENT: The environment includes creating a physical sanctuary with the right conditions at home and work. Includes healthy relationships and a social conscience.
My downstairs room I’m using as a sort of classroom/play room with lots of uplifting images, affirmations and my boys star charts. I have a lot of sensory items readily available and we have a peace/calm corner with lots of calm inducing things and images. We have planted some seeds in pots such as sunflowers, cauliflowers, cress, any seeds I could find in the house. The seeds were out of date but actually they are propagating 😊
The people we live with represent our environment. Values are very important to help maintain harmony as undoubtedly spending so much time with each other is challenging. So before reacting; ask yourself, ‘am I adhering to my values’? – and by doing so you will choose the most beneficial response that will have the least adverse impact on the energy of you, your family and the home environment. By reacting in a negative way the first person you hurt is yourself. Give each other space and respect that space- make time so you all get time to yourselves doing what you want to do on your own – such as reading, meditation, drawing, crafting, whatever it is and honour it.
Adapting with your work
So of course things in the world of work have changed and technology is being used a lot lot more than ever.
In terms of my work, never would I have thought
– that I‘d enjoy teaching on Zoom
– that we can create connection via a screen
– that I could pull it off at such short (ahem…no) notice
– that… a lot of other things!
The children have taken online delivery so well, so interactive and enthusiastic – I’m so proud of them all.
My classes nurture and nourish our entire well being; mind, body, spirit and environment.
I would love to hear how things have been going for you. So please do get in touch.
You are safe, strong and stable
I am safe, strong and stable
We are safe, strong and stable
Lots of Love,