While I was in Scotland on holiday last summer 2019 I went walking all around the places I use to play as a child. It reminded me how magical everything was to me back then. As a child I was living from the 'inside out' with my state of 'being' being first and foremost. I was being present in the moment, interacting with the world from the inside out.
There was a wall that I always used to go to and look for bug; Ladybirds and caterpillars were my favourites - I was being curious, gentle, relaxed, thankful, happy, mindful, carefree and inspired; it was magical. My energy was flowing naturally as my being was at the forefront, I was naturally being me. I would get lost in my own little world with my imagination, and in the process exploring and learning the fabric and capacity of my own mind. First and foremost how we are 'being' affects those around us, our thoughts, feelings, words...
Nourish our children living from the 'inside out'; affirm and set a positive example with our natural state of 'being' (calm, caring and content) being first and foremost. Whether being curious, gentle, relaxed, thankful, content, mindful, inspired… With the unlimited energy of you flowing naturally and in alignment. We need to cherish our children for being themselves and teach them ways to keep in their natural state of being, in alignment leading by example, self acceptance and self care. Teaching them tools we have built in to stay in alignment such as; our breath, our thoughts with affirmations, movement & stretching.
Our natural state of being which is caring, calm, content and peaceful keeps us aligned, in balance and fuels our enjoyment from the core of our being/ourselves. The reason why it keeps us aligned is because its natural for us to be calm, caring and content, what is unnatural is fear, anger, sadness and causes us to be out of alignment.
As a child in my natural state of being (carefree, curious, explorative, optimistic, light hearted) it made my experiences so fun, so enriching and memorable.
Authentic Power of Being We need to encourage and contribute to the wellness of our children's being from the inside out, from a space of authentic power, self respect, self worth and self care - in the world but not of the world, not using external factors to affirm and define them and their worth. So they are noticed, loved and celebrated for who they are, to become balanced, caring (to the self and others), loving, giving human beings, self accepting, content and empowered.
As a parent being an example of this by living from the inside (being) out (doing), from the heart/core of your authentic self with no need for external referencing or special status which is at risk of being taken way at anytime. So when you start each day afresh you could start with a positive affirmation shared with your children to set the tone for how you will be, so for example: ‘I am calm, content and caring’. This way of being will be felt by your children and their state of being will be positively impacted.
This can be underpinned through activities such as Be Relaxed classes and also by following the *3 A's in your child's upbringing which are: Affirmation, Attention and Affection - these 3 A's are core needs in a child's development. The 3 A's are explained below:
- ATTENTION – attention is the quality that makes the receiver feel ‘seen’ and valued. It generates a feeling at one’s core that ‘I am truly okay…. worthy and my life is worthwhile’. When one is attended to with kindness, sensitivity, warmth and love, one grows outwards and upwards, easily able to fulfil one’s reason for being. Attention is essential for healthy emotional development.
- AFFECTION – indifference destroys the spirit. A gentle, warm and radiant injection enables the individual to find their inner strength. It helps her connect to the core and with that be reminded that she is indeed loved and does belong to something bigger than herself. That sense of belonging and of being wanted enhances the creative intelligence, bringing the best of the individual confidently to the fore.
- AFFIRMATION – praise helps the individual find his meaning, direction and purpose. It confirms that ‘I have a place in this world and my contribution is important’. It sets up a feeling that what I have to offer is essential and so the feelings of self-love, balance and inner harmony reign supreme. Those who are adequately affirmed stop looking outside for confirmation and dance to the beat of their own drum. They are quietly confident and courageous.
- SELF-ACCEPTANCE – the primary by-product of the 3’A’s is a beautiful acceptance of oneself. Without acceptance, there is no order or peace of mind. One battles relentlessly with chaos and peacelessness, both of which distort the self-image. The self-accepting mind values and nurtures the inner world and interacts with the world outside mindfully, respectfully and with kindness. Such a mind seeks to make a positive contribution from a place of loving appreciation.
- CONTENTMENT – contentment is the jewel in the crown. She who is contented wants for nothing. Her mind and heart are so full with gratitude and appreciation, there is no room for negativity. This person’s “cup runneth over”. She literally is lacking nothing. This is not a material position, although she may have all that she needs, it’s a state of mind that remains stable regardless of circumstance. Contentment is the Mother of all virtues.
(_*The Reach Approach, The 3 ‘A’s – a synopsis)_
‘You are Calm Content and Caring’
‘I am Calm Content and Caring’
‘We are Calm Content and Caring’